Smoking Trash, Talking Cigarettes

Proud

2005-08-24T07:09:00.000-07:00

The last enrty inro the smokingtrash has garnered the coveted "spam-comment".

I'd like to thank all the spammers out there for this great award.

p.s. - I deleted it.

Addiction

2005-08-16T07:33:00.000-07:00

Things have been pretty crazy and busy around the smokingtrash complex as of late. I'll try and update more frequently as things start to slow down.

I have a lot to tell.

But in the meantime I have found a new addiction.

Golf.

Yes, I am now totally obsessed with golf.

Discuss.

I think I'm sore

2005-07-25T10:16:00.000-07:00

Can you see it?

It's this stupid grin I cant seem to get off of my face. Ear-to-ear.

Saturday started off pretty low-key. Did some errands, cleaned, etc. But, Saturday night was a whole different game.

Wine, music, snacks and a beautiful brunette with devilishly brown/yellow eyes and a summer dress of red that matched her toes.

We met at a bbq amongst mutual friends. I, the geek in the corner, and she, the bombshell social butterfly. We are introduced to each other by friends and immediately hit it off. It seems we have the same taste in music, art, and well..friends. As the night progresses she seems to be enjoying her cocktail known as a mojito and I manage to keep it full for her. The whole party really seems distant as we both talked for hours to each other about everything and nothing all at the same time. Next thing you know the bbq is coming to a close and now I need a plan B.

"Would you like to go have another cocktail and continue this evening?"

"I would love to?"

As we went back to my place I couldnt help but wonder what the hell I did to get sooooo lucky.

I pour us some wine and return to the front room.

"Thank You" she says.

As soon as I sit down she leans in and gives me an amazing kiss.

"Thanks for such a fun time tonight"

"No, thank you" I say grinning.

The kissing becomes more passionate and sexually charged as I grab her face and pull her closer.

She reaches over and rubs her hand on my chest as she starts to unbutton my shirt and pants. I cant help myself as I reach to help her out of her clothes. As her dress drops to he floor I look up and see the sexiest black bra and matching panties. What a body. UNBELIEVEABLE!!! Her breasts were amazing. I would guess 36D or maybe DD but they were so round and firm and soft. Nipples to die for, a beautifully shaved kitty, and she smelled fantastic.

As i stood at the foot of my bed naked, and looked at the most beautiful woman that had probably ever been in it, she turns over on to her stomach, spreads her legs and says "Come here!". Oh my fucking god! That is like my favorite position ever and there she is just waiting for me. I enter her from behind and we go at it for the rest of the night.

She rocks my world and I cant wait to see her again.

Minty-fresh Fun

2005-07-19T17:28:00.000-07:00

Okay Gang, its time for a new game called draw-yourself-as-a-stick-figure.

I think it looks just like me. Hmm...or not.

Your turn.

G-E-E-K

2005-07-19T17:06:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I became the owner of a T-Mobile Sidekick. And no, not because Paris has one. But that helps...right?! Kidding. Anyway, I had traded it for my iPod Shuffle so as I move forward with my business I will be able to send and receive emails, text messages, and even AIM.

The little device packs a pretty powerful punch. It has a great address book for my contacts, to-do list, calendar, and even a web browser.

Now, I know what you're thinking, "how gay!". Believe me I felt sort-of the same way at first. But now I cant see how I ever lived without the little bugger. All I can say is that this is exactly what I needed to get my business going, which by the way, is coming along nicely. More on that soon.

TaTa

This always makes me laugh!!!

2005-07-19T16:39:00.000-07:00

Flair

Sunshine

2005-07-13T16:39:00.000-07:00

Dear Mother-Nature,

I would like to say thank you for forgetting to turn on the fog-machine here in San Francisco. It has been incredibly warm and comfortable. Its so nice to not have to wear a jacket in the morning or on the way home from work in the middle of July.

I'd especially like to thank you for this because it has let every beautiful woman in the city wear everything from skirts to tank-tops to sun-dresses. All of that extra skin showing has been a fantastic feast for the eyes and I love every second of it.

Please, please, please let it go on for just a bit longer. I promise I'll be good.

Your Friend,

Smokingtrash
-

1970's

2005-07-12T16:09:00.000-07:00

Its time for the first installment of "Things-I-Had-As-A-Kid-Growing-Up-In-The-1970's"

New Business Cards

2005-07-11T16:10:00.000-07:00

I received my new business cards on friday. Woohoo. They look fantastic if I do say so myself.

Only one little problem........THEY ARE CROOKED!!!

The printer messed-up an now starts the email and phone call dance where they will try to tell me that my files were incorrect. Nope. Not this time.

Can you spell R-E-P-R-I-N-T

Ouch!

2005-07-11T11:33:00.000-07:00

I need a favor.

Could everyone please remind me that Sunday is NOT the day to drink beers until midnight. Especially when the alarm goes off at 5am.

My kidneys and liver are pissed.
-

Getting closer

2005-07-07T11:48:00.000-07:00

Some of you may remember a post to which I stated that I was going to start my own business. Well, the ball is rolling and my newly designed business cards are at the printer, the new website design is nearly finished, and the ad for the newspaper has been designed and is ready for print.

Now, it has occured to me that I never really told anyone what I do for a living. So hear it goes:

I currently work for an auction company in the digital dept. I am the guy that takes care of all of the photos that come through from the in-house photo-crew. I remove backgrounds, blemishes, spots etc. I also do all of the color correction so that the image is true to the original. I have held in my hands works from Picasso, VanGogh, and Warhol. I have touched deck chairs from the Titanic and worked on Ming China.

I love my job and find it quite interesting at times. But its not very creative. My background is in Graphic Design and I used to work for an ad agency downtown in Union Square. I have been feeling that its now time for me to strike out on my own and start a small design company. I cant explain why but i just feel it. I'm coming to a point in my life where I want to take a risk and go for it before I look back and regret it forever if i dont.

So for now, I am just in the infancy stage of getting this all together. But in the coming weeks I hope to blog about actually having clients and let all of you know how its going.

Cheers.
-

Its official...I'm going to Hell

2005-07-06T13:46:00.000-07:00

The big-city. Its full of truly notable moments, such as this conversation I had with a crazy-woman(cw) the other day:

me: (listening to ipod)

cw: (trying to talk to me)

me: (ignoring her)

cw: (waving hands in my face)

me: "can I help you?"

cw: "you're going to hell!"

me: "is that so?"

cw: "yes"

me: "why is that?"

cw: "becuase you sit and and ignore me like im going to ask for change or something"

me: "werent you?"

cw: "yes, but you dont have to be rude about it"

me: "i see, so asking for my money is okay but ignoring you is rude?"

cw: (completey pissed by my logic) "YOU'RE GOING TO HELL!!!"

me: "I tell ya what, when I get to Hell, I'm going to ask your Mom how she likes it!!!"

cw: (going ballistic at my comment, waving hands and yelling like a psycho)

me: (steps onto bus and smiles while turning back on my iPod to listen to Bad Religion)

Sometimes its better to go for the kill then to let the psychotic's logic linger on.

Oh, and its kinda fun every once-in-awhile.

;o)

Self-imposed Time-out

2005-06-30T11:53:00.000-07:00

Alive. Yes.

I seem to have needed a bit of time away from the computer and the info superhighway.

You see, I do digital imaging for a living which requires me to be in front of my Mac all day along. Now, throw in a freelance design project after work for a friends company and you have more added computer time than you really want.

And the kicker...drumroll...I have been designing a new logo, business card, and website for an attempt at starting my own design company. Because you see, I am over working for others. Its time for me to give it a try and see what happens.

All of this has added way to much computer-time to my life so I have needed a time-out. Ive been hiding-out at the pub taking in the scenery and enjoying the pleasure of actually talking to people. Met a few lovely gals too ;)

So, I'm still alive and about to make a huge leap-of-faith by running a business while still employed.

Stay tuned. This could be a really bumpy ride.

10-4

-

Its Time To Leave This Town

2005-06-16T10:31:00.000-07:00

Blogger friends, I write to you today to let you in on why I think its time that I leave this little city by the bay. You see, its not the town, its the people. I just cant stand being around all the low-life, dirty, scum-bags that make up this town any longer.

So let me tell you a little story using my trust Nikon digital camera as proof.

After work yesterday a good friend called and said he was in the city and was wondering would I like to hook up and go grab some food and a pint. Of course I'm always up for food and beer so I said lets do it. We decided to go over to the best taqueria (Taquera Cancun) in San Francisco (IMO) and grab a super burrito. I was feeling brave, and really hungry, so I ordered up the carne asada super (ingredients: carne asada, pinto beans, rice, tomato's, sour cream, avocado, onions, cheese, hot sauce) Mmmm Mmm.

Anyway, after eating we wandered over to 16th and Valencia street to grab a pint. Now, the area of the city we're wandering through in is known as The Mission. It is the scorge of the earth. A hot-bed of crack, hookers, low-life's, and every drunken derelict south of Market Street.

(click for larger image)

So, after a pint, I bid my friend a fond farewell and start my trek back up to The Haight where I reside. And thats when I decided that I am over the 'city-life'. You see, as I'm waiting for the bus, the route known as the 22-Fillmore, I happen to glance 2 ft. behind me and see this:

(click for larger image)

The most fucked-up, passing-out-while-standing, drunken, crack-whore I had ever seen in the 10 years I have lived here. And yes, she is way past picking, she is drilling all the way to the knuckle.

At this point I told myself that its time to go. I just cannot handle it any longer. So, my blog-commrades, SmokingTrash may be invading a city near, or with, you. As soon as he figures out which one. I hear Canada is nice.

One more thing, I was so discusted by the "woman" that I had to stop by one of the best beer bars in the world, luckily not to far from my porch, and have a few pints to help forget the image that is burned on my brain. Its called Toranado and it has about 50 beers on tap from all over the world. A rockin' good time all of the time.

(click for larger image)

SmokingTrash, over-and-out

My new fav internet image

2005-06-14T14:02:00.000-07:00

MJ

2005-06-14T13:34:00.000-07:00

By now we've all heard the news about MJ. Not guilty. Fine. I didnt care anyway. But it did make me think about all the negative press it's created for him.

Time for fun.

So, I've decided I want to post about all of the cool things that Neverland and MJ have to offer:

(WARNING-EXTREME SARCASM AHEAD. READ AT OWN RISK.)

1) free wine
2) free amusement park
3) free arcade
4) free petting zoo
5) any kind of food prepared by a world-class chef
6) clean sheets / big bed
7) a monkey
8) every toy imaginable
9) no parental supervision
10) a maid to clean up the mess
11) pool / jacuzzi
12) lots of cool prescription drugs
13) hanging with celebs
14) ...

Now I dont know about you guys but this sounds like a pretty damn good time if you ask me. LOL.

Okay. Stop. You're all sick.
----

Fuck this is funny.

2005-06-08T15:36:00.000-07:00

Mary-Kate or E.T. Who's more fashionable?

Today

2005-06-08T14:25:00.000-07:00

Its raining,yet again, here in San Francisco.

Need I say more.

The Awful Truth.

2005-06-07T12:02:00.000-07:00

I have been neglecting to post to this blog because, well..., because I have been addicted to a new game.

Yes, me=game-geek.

World of Warcraft has owned me for the last 5 days or so. But I will not let my Xbox Live Project Gotham 2 racing buddies down and I promise that all 1 of my reader(s) will have new random posts more frequently.

Muchas Gracias.

(Looks around room for other game addicts)

-

World Drunkeness

2005-06-06T22:25:00.000-07:00

So, I'm sitting talking with some friends over a few pints and the discussion has leaned toward where we have traveled to on this great little blue globe of ours. Naturally we were pretty buzzed when the topic of being drunk came up and realized we had a great little list of all of the places we have been drunk in the world.

So, without further adeu, this is the official SmokingTrash drunk-around-the-globe-list:

North America:
California - San Francisco, Los Angeles, Lake Tahoe, Napa Valley and points in between
Nevada - Las Vegas, Reno
Colorado - Denver and most ski resorts
Arizona - Phoenix
South Dakota - Sturgis
Minnesota - Minnepolis
Georgia - Atlanta
New York - New York City
Hawaii - Maui

Mexico:
Tijuana
Rosarito Beach

United Kingdom:
England - London

Europe:
France - Paris and Nice
Italy - Venice, Florence, and Rome

Atlantic Ocean:
en route from London to New York on the Queen Elizabeth II (5days)

(typed with love while drinking a bottle of wine from Napa Valley)

Good night. Signing off.
-

Treasure

2005-05-31T12:31:00.000-07:00

So I'm digging through some boxes of stuff in the garage when low-and-behold I come across this gem:

The Rubik's Cube.

As I am standing there looking at this marvelous treasure from the 80's a thought occurs to me; I never solved this fucking thing!

So now dear blog-folk I have decided to take it upon myself to legitimately solve this puzzle that has illuded me for so many years.

I forsee many long hours of using the F-word.

Sight of the day award...

2005-05-26T09:58:00.000-07:00

...goes to the guy whom had a mullet like this (known as the grizzled mullet) and was wearing a pink nurse's shirt that was tucked into skin-tight white levi's that were tucked into cowboy boots.

He definitely rules!!!

Rock-on brother.

.

Today's Quote

2005-05-25T15:17:00.000-07:00

"Everyone must believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink."

-W.C. Fields

Sounds like a good plan to me.

Random Post

2005-05-24T15:16:00.000-07:00

Just in case.

-

Morning Commute

2005-05-24T08:20:00.000-07:00

Time: 7:30am-8am
location: Haight Street to downtown

the numbers:

number of buses to work: 2

number of times asked for spare change: 2

number of homeless en route: 4

number of cute girls on bus: 3
number I had the balls to talk to: 0

number of guys who smelled like a carton of cigarettes that sat next to me: 2

number of people who all had their golden chalice of coffee: everyone
number that had cigarettes with said coffee: 80%

number of people wearing cowboy boots, glitter disco-shirt, and Santa Claus hat (all at the same time): 1

number of times I was almost hit by a bike messenger: 1

number who looked like a man and woman: 1

song on iPod shuffle: "Sugar Kane" - Sonic Youth

walls with no graffiti: 0

number of derelicts on bus already drunk: 2

number of brain cells I use wondering why the fuck I still live here: 0

Worst performance's ever

2005-05-20T13:40:00.000-07:00

So, this post was inspired by datamonkey who had a good idea he left in my comments: "Whats the worst bands you've ever seen"?

I know we have all seen some pure shit out there so this could turn out to be one funny post.

I will start with this:

(Drumroll please)

Winger opening for the Scorpions at the Los Angeles Sports Arena circa 1988.

Top that!!!!

Why I have the beginnings of a beautiful 'spare-tire'

2005-05-20T13:21:00.000-07:00

breakfast: none

lunch: foot-long hot dog w/ketchup, deli mustard, tomato wedges, pickle wedges, and onions.

I cant help it. I'm a sucker for a good old-fashioned coney island style 'dog. A pile of lettuce just doesnt cut-it.

dinner: its friday, which means some kind of meat on the bbq. Oh, and a bunch of beer to wash it back.

Mmm mmm

10-4 folks

Sex 101

2005-05-19T15:43:00.000-07:00

Not that this (see above) happens often to me you see, but I think I need a refresher course.

And, of course, a "live" girl helps.

Please send all resumés to me along with a couple of samples of your work.

Thank You, SmokingTrash HR dept.

LOL!!!!

Things that annoy....

2005-05-19T10:18:00.000-07:00

Its time for an installment of things-that-annoy-the-piss-out-of-me:

-while waiting in the 8 hour grocery line, the person that decided not to get their check ready beforehand and has to do it at the counter
-not green, not red, but the fucking yellow. (shit, do I stop or go)
-starting to sneeze and then it goes away
-my boss' stress level
-most of my co-workers
-the mosquito at 3am that keeps buzzing my ear
-old-lady perfume
-not getting laid whenever and where ever I want
-traffic
-the ATM surcharge
-the fat-ass on the bus that takes up all of his seat AND most of mine
-that same fuck who has asked me for spare change everyday for the last 9 years
-all of the 'hipsters' here in SF
-flicking cigarettes and garbage into the street when the garbage can is less than 6 inches away
-when i get drunk and over-cook my steak
-the fur protesters that fuck up traffic downtown
-paying the "convienence-fee" for concert tickets (what the fuck is it anyway)
-hang-overs
-web board "fan-boys"
-the guy who doesnt turn off his cell phone at the movie theater
-email spam
-cutomer service calls routed to India
-"tech-support"
-the arrogant S.O.B IT-guy at my work
-having to give the last four digits of my social security card for EVERYTHING
-forgetting the 19-billion email/password combos I have all over the internet

...and a million more coming sonn to a blog near you

Co-Workers

2005-05-18T14:58:00.000-07:00

This here little doodle I did on a post-it represents what I feel/think about the majority of people I work with.

I hate people, but I love parties. The irony.

Garbage Gallery

2005-05-18T12:33:00.000-07:00

(Drumroll)

Yes folks, its time for the official "shirt-of-the-day". Ugly, cool, or just straight sad, its my shirt. Now remember, its been awhile since my modeling days on the runways in Paris and Milan so I may be a little behnd the times.

In case you were wondering, its made of that new ultra-futuristic, high-tech material know as polyester.

Petrol

2005-05-17T18:58:00.000-07:00

You know, its times like these that make me love living in the most expensive city in the United States.

F-U-C-K-E-R-S.

Live Performances

2005-05-17T18:34:00.000-07:00

Here is a list of bands I will never see live. And that sucks.

Led Zeppelin
Nirvana
The Police
Sex Pistols
Joy Division
Smashing Pumpkins
Talking Heads
Sublime
The Smiths

Who's on your list?

Random Pics

2005-05-17T15:15:00.000-07:00

I have decide, well, since I posted pictures of my shoes, that I am going to take pics of completely random stuff and post them up here. Why you ask? Well, I really have no fucking idea why. It just sounds so stupid that I have to do it. It's like seeing how long you can hold your hand over the fire. Stupid. Yes. But one must try. LOL.

It may be my shirt, a city pic, my sink full of dishes, my bed-head - I think you get the idea.

So, stay tuned for the SmokingTrash gallery of useless images and such. Definite garbage.

Morning Death

2005-05-17T12:28:00.000-07:00

Today started out like any other day of the week. I took the bus downtown and got off at my usual stop.

As I made my way across the crosswalk at Market & Van Ness I seemed to notice something. I may have subconsciously noticed it but it finally rang a bell. And since I dont drink coffee i really dont pay that much attention to it, but I noticed everyone, and I mean everyone, smoking and carrying around their cups of coffee with the cool little java-jacket (the little thing so you dont burn your hands that was one of the last places on earth without any printed advertising, another post on that later). It was like everyone was holding the cup of Christ in their hands with the water he turned to wine.

Now, what really cracked me up was this fat-guy who was strolling through the cross walk. He stopped right there in the middle and lit a cigarette up.

1. zippo lighter to Marlboro
2. lit
3. inhale
4. exhale
ahhhhhhhhhhh (eyes rolled in the back of head)

This guy when he inhaled that first hit of tar, looked to be the happiest fucker on earth. His eyes were closed and It was as if there was nothing around for miles. It was pure ectasy. Probably better than his and his wife's fuck-face together.

Then a gulp of coffee. Again, ahhhhhhhhh. He made it to the other side of the street and I just knew that in his mind he was already at Disneyland.

Only in the a big city will you find such happiness in a slow death.

Shoes

2005-05-17T11:49:00.000-07:00

This is for all of the 'shoe-whores' out there. You know who you are.

FYI, we like cool shoes too (sticks tongue out) ;)

City Life

2005-05-16T22:03:00.000-07:00

My little slice of the city this evening.

Me, part deux

2005-05-16T14:21:00.000-07:00

51. I didnt vote for George W. Bush. Ever.
52. I have never had a cat as a pet.
53. Mexican food rules.
54. I've always wanted to join the mile-high club.
55. I'm a videogame addict.
56. I have the best ideas from around 1am-3am.
57. Garter belts make me instantly hard.
58. I was the best mid-fielder on my team. For 8 years.
59. I talk to much.
60. I have never taken out my earrings.
61. I have a high tolerance for pain.
62. I never take medicine.
63. I think masturbation is great.
64. I'm a total techno-nerd.
65. Living in SF I usually get hit on by more men than women.
66. A very pretty woman smiled at me on the bus the other day. It felt great.
67. I complimented a woman on her shoes the other day. It made her blush.
68. I've never fucked a different ethnicity.
69. I hate traffic.
70. I am a pisces.
71. I once fucked in the bathroom of a bar.
72. I am shorter than everyone I know.
73. I want to learn how to white-water kayack.
74. I typed this at work.
75. I hate reading the employee-handbook.
76. Mtv sucks.
77. I had Star Wars bed sheets as a kid.
78. The first time I had sex it lasted about 30 seconds.
79. All of my lovers had small boobs.
80. I prefer the 'landing-strip' or 'runway'.
81. Tiramisu is the best.
82. I love when a woman passes by and she smells fantastic.
83. Everytime I smell Obsession perfume it reminds me of the first time I had sex.
84. I love oysters on the half-shell.
85. Office politics suck.
86. Waking up with a hangover is ok if you had sex.
87. Sheer bra and panties rocks my world.
88. I hate shopping.
89. I hate waiting in line at the grocery store.
90. I love when my favorite beer is on sale.
91. I would love a woman to fuck me and not make love to me.
92. I hate hearing about my friends' fantastic sex lives.
93. Women talk more nasty than men.
94. Sometimes I think i need a psychiatrist.
95. I have never won in Las Vegas.
96. I never drink liquor. Beer and wine only.
97. I kissed a girl once that had a tongue like a cat. rough.
98. I used to see No Doubt play backyard parties in Orange County.
99. I really like sex in the morning.
100. I have never been awakened with a blow-job.

Me

2005-05-16T10:31:00.000-07:00

1. I put hot sauce on pizza.
2. Teva's + socks = No no no.
3. I nearly died once. Just once.
4. I've never broken a bone.
5. In 1977 I saw my first movie ever. Star Wars.
6. I rarely get sick.
7. I'm a fucking great cook.
8. I wear glasses.
9. I have a best friend who is female and having sex has never been an issue.
10. I love BEER!!!
11. I like how soft the skin of my penis is after sex.
12. I prefer reading the newspaper to online news.
13. In 3rd grade I was in 8th grade mathematics.
14. I often wonder if my friends actually know how intelligent I am.
15. Led Zeppelin is the greatest rock band in the history of rock. Not The Beatles.
16. I love watching a womans breasts bounce while she is on top.
17. I once got a blow-job in the back of a cab
18. I once was mistaken for Rob Lowe by a drunken woman in a bar.
19. I was arrested for drunk driving after having only 2 beers.
20. I'm 33 and still love riding my skateboard.
21. I often feel bad that my parrot is in her cage all day while I'm at work.
22. I will only use an Apple Macintosh computer.
23. I often fantasize about having sex with 2 women
24. I always wonder what a beautiful woman looks like nude as she walks past me on the street.
25. Glazed doughnuts are my weakness.
26. I'm not tall.
27. I have one amazing Calvin Klein suit.
28. Boxers.
29. Spreadeagle is my favorite position.
30. Green.
31. I've mixed more cocktails than most people will in their entire life.
32. I hate to plan my day.
33. I have not owned a car in 8 years.
34. The first love of my life was Miss Teen So.California.
35. I love being in the water.
36. I miss living by the beach.
37. All of my ex-lovers were terrible at giving blow-jobs.
38. I dont drink coffee.
39. I like cigars.
40. I want to start my own business.
41. I have no money. Ever.
42. Darth Vader has always been my favorite villian. Period.
43. I never solved the Rubiks Cube.
44. When my mountain bike was stolen I went out and bought the same exact bike a week later.
45. Miles Davis - Some Kind of Blue is the greatest jazz album ever.
46. I have a hula-girl on my desk.
47. I bought a 'good-luck' tiki in Maui and when I got home with it I lost my job.
48. I love boobs.
49. I have never been in an automobile accident.
50. I sleep completely nude.

The Inner Geek

2005-05-11T11:28:00.000-07:00

Today I am very proud of myself. I have officially left the 20th century and joined the 21st.

Today marks the end of the life of my Macintosh G3 B/W tower that I bought 7 years ago and have used everyday since. She got me through Art School, freelance jobs, and tons of internet boobies. I will miss her.

But now I would like to introduce to you my new sexy (if a computer can me sexy) digital companion.

Say hello to my new Mac Mini

Lomo

2005-05-10T19:08:00.000-07:00

I think its been way too long since I took any pictures with my Lomo LC-A.

I promise I will pull it out of the closet, dust it off, and post some pics.

Great Idea

2005-05-10T19:04:00.000-07:00

So, I need everyone to please help out my little art project.

Its free, could be a great book someday, and is easy to contribute to.

http://myeyesopen.blogspot.com

The Boss

2005-05-10T18:56:00.000-07:00

I hate the fact that when my boss is stressed out she tends to try and manifest that stress on to the rest of us. It's not my fault that she carries the weight of the world on her shoulders. What I do know is that I am fucking great at what I do and I dont need her to try and make it seem like we are going to miss the deadline. I have never missed one, that's right, not one deadline. Why, because I never stress about it. I get the work done and that's that.

Hmmm, maybe she needs to get laid.

Or better yet, maybe I need lock on my office door.

Escape

2005-05-03T22:27:00.000-07:00

Tonight, after working overtime, a coworker and I decided we needed a little escape so that we could go vent our frustrations with our job. We ended up at my favorite pub in the whole city. Its called Magnolia Pub & Brewery and if you ever get a chance to stop by, please do. Its in the Upper Haight on Haight Street at Masonic. Great beer and good food.

Sometimes its just that simple.

Public Trans

2005-05-03T11:03:00.000-07:00

Today was the straw that broke my back. And it wasnt any one particular thing. I just came to the conclusion that I just cant ride the bus anymore. I'm done.

After riding the bus here in San Francisco for the better part of 10 years now I feel my time is up. The bus makes my skin crawl, my blood boil, and my ears hurt from all the cell phone conversations. Its dirty, smelly, and always late.

Note to self: GET A CAR!

p.s. - below is a rant that I posted on Craigslist a few months back. It pretty much sums it all up. Enjoy.
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A 5-Sense's Thank You to the 22-Fillmore

Sight - Thank you 22-Fillmore. Thank You for all the incredible sights everyday on my way to and from work. Thank You for 16th and Mission where I can watch crack being dealt like its legal, and hypodermic needles lay like gum smashed on the sidewalk.

Thank You to the big pay-toilet that lay on 16th and Mission that is a beacon to all druggies and hookers. I enjoy seeing all 6 of you leaving it in the morning. Is there a discount on a BJ if we use the toilet instead of my car?

Thank You 16th and Folsom where I get to see the crack being smoked. I enjoy a nice fresh hit in the morning. Its nice that the supply is so close. Sitting in that warehouse dock right in front of the bus stop makes it quite a sight. I especially enjoy seeing you folks piss right there on the sidewalk. Do you think we cant see your dick behind the germ-infested trashcan? Put that thing away or go use the toilet (see above).

Thank You 16th and S.Van Ness and Folsom for letting me see the girls just finishing their 'shifts' and all the used condoms laying in the gutter.

Thank You to all the urban-coolguys-in-athletic-gear who wear their pants down past their ass. That shit is too funny. You look like idiots and no one cares what cool Phat Farm or Sean John boxers you are sporting.

Thank You Haight Street for all the early morning tweakers looking for some more 'goods' and the 'salesman' that help out.

Sound - Thank you 22-Fillmore. Thank You for all of the amazing cell-phone conversations I hear everyday. Thank You to all of those who think that I would love to hear your inane conversations of "Where are you?" or "I'm on the 22". Thank You for sharing your complete weekend plans with everyone on Friday and the complete weekend play-by-play on Monday. I dont give a shit who you met and/or fucked. I dont give a shit how drunk you were, who hit on you at the bar, or what really cool new 'hipster' club you were at. I dont need to know what you were wearing and I certainly am not interested in your 'walk-of-shame' the next morning.

Thank You to all that give their number out while chatting with friends. I now have a great collection of crank-call numbers I can distribute across the internet.

Thank You Mr-Tough-as-hell-gangster-coolguy in the back of the bus with your 'ghetto-blaster' on 10. I really enjoy listening to a bunch of two-bit rappers talking shit about 'bitches' and 'ho's'. The walkman was invented 25 years ago. Get one.

Thank You young school kids who talk at the top of your lungs about anything and everything to their friend sitting 3 rows away.

Thank You to the cool 'scenester' who listens to his iPod full-blast with the newest and greatest techno-beat. 128 beats-per-minute just doesn't seem like enough at 8am.

And a very big Thank You to the crazy, deranged, crack-head that talks to himself the whole way. Sometimes its funny as hell.

Smell - Thank You Mr.Homeless guy for sitting next to me with your B.O. and all around stench. The 6-month unwashed clothes that smell like ass are my favorite.

Thank You Miss 70-year-old for that great smelling Walgreens brand perfume you bathed in this morning.

Thank You to all for the cigarettes and coffee breath.

Thank You drunken frat-boys for the beer/liquor breath.

Thank You to the the owner of the poor dog that had to come with you in the rain and has to lay on the floor of a wet bus for the amazing canine aroma. Good Thinking.

Touch - Thank You to everyone that cant seem to move their fucking bag/backpacks away from my face when I am sitting down and you are standing up not paying attention to where the fuck you back is flying around.

Thank You to all the lazy-asses that cant be bothered to get up and let you out of your seat when you are in the seat next to the window. I really have enjoyed putting my ass right by your face as I 'pass' by since you cant be bothered to stand-up for 10 fucking seconds. Ok Ok, I know the majority of you really CANT get up because you are all overweight and obese and I understand completely. Here's an idea: lay off of the fucking chicken nuggets.

And I definitely cant say Thank You enough to the 'door-people' who think that they just bought their own 'plot' of land right there by the door. MOVE THE FUCK AWAY FROM THE DOOR. People are trying to get on and off.

Taste - Thank You 22-Fillmore for all of the above. All of this combined on a daily basis for the last 3 years has left the nastiest taste in my mouth that no amount of dental hygiene could ever get rid of.

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Thank God for my iPod!!!

Horny

2005-05-01T01:04:00.000-07:00

Horny, horny, horny!!!!!!!

Sometimes I guess I just cant help it.

Fuck, why is it that we cant just get it when we need it.

My Gal

2005-04-29T13:28:00.000-07:00

This is my parrot Lola. She's what's known as a Goffins Cockatoo.

She's messy and loud and the greatest companion ever.

J-O-B-S

2005-04-28T15:43:00.000-07:00

I kinda ripped this idea off of a friends journal.

Let's list all the jobs I've had in my life and see what kind of crap-work I've done.

(in order from 1st to current)

grocery bagger
restaurant host
restaurant server
bartender
fine-dining server
videogame tester
production artist
graphic designer
videogame tester again
stock room associate at Banana Republic
brewers assistant
bottler / cellar rat
digital artist

As you can see they got better. Ultimatlely doing what I went to school for; graphic designer. Then the economy took a big crash and I'm back to doing shit that I was doing when I was in high school.

FUCKIN 'A !!!